What if happiness and freedom from stress and fear were within your grasp, and all it took to have them was an agreement with yourself?
According to don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements, that’s all it takes. Ruiz’s book follows the wisdom of the ancient Toltec culture, a civilization that thrived in central Mexico between the 10th and 12th centuries. Ruiz describes four guiding principles, or “agreements”, that, if followed, will free you from self-imposed limitations, fear, and drama. Can you imagine the possibilities? The Four Agreements are simple and incredibly wise, and they are applicable to all cultures. Incidentally, they also have nothing to do with other people; they are agreements you must make with yourself.
The Four Agreements outlined in the book are as follows:
- Be impeccable with your word.
- Don’t take anything personally.
- Don’t make assumptions.
- Always do your best.
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According to Ruiz, we are domesticated from the moment of our birth to understand and accept all that 
surrounds us and embodies us. Everything we do is based on agreements we have made with others, with life, and, most importantly, with ourselves. The agreements we make with ourselves govern how we define ourselves, how we behave, and what we determine is possible and impossible.
Ruiz goes on to explain that the overwhelming majority of the agreements we make with ourselves are detrimental to us and to our journey towards spiritual transcendence. They originate from fear, reduce our self-worth, and drain our energy. Acknowledgment and acceptance of this truth sets the stage for the transformation that we must undertake by replacing these harmful agreements with the four beneficial agreements.
Agreement 1: Be impeccable with your word. I cannot tell you how important this is. Ruiz introduces this agreement as an elegant way of saying “Don’t lie and do the things you say you are going to do.” Gaining trust within yourself and from others starts with the conviction that you mean everything you say and you say everything you mean. It is as simple as that.
Agreement 2: Don’t take everything personally. How many times have I taken offense from something somebody said to me? I can’t count the number. But it happens, and for some people it happens all the time. But this agreement is about understanding that nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering. One of the mantras I live by is that you cannot control the rain, but you can control if you get wet or not. Agree to be in control over what affects you and what does not.
Agreement 3: Don’t make assumptions. Somebody once said to me that if you don’t want to be disappointed, stop making assumptions. And they were right. Making assumptions is an easy way to get disappointed really fast. Many times we don’t have the courage to ask the right questions and instead assume that we know enough. This leads to misunderstanding, sadness, and, worst of all, drama. Find the guts to ask the questions you need to ask and express what you really mean and want. I am sure that this one agreement alone can completely transform your life; it did mine.
Agreement 4: Always do your best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to when you are sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret. Doing your best all the time will make you a better person, a person who shoots for the stars, and that is when the magic happens.
The Four Agreements represent a guideline to living the best life you can live, not unlike the principles we follow here at Beyond the Fear. Life is short, and the sooner we realize that we have control over the way we live it, the happier and more content we will be. The fact that the Four Agreements originated in ancient times, and encompass an ideal humans have been striving for over thousands of years, leads me to believe that we are not so far off the mark.
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