“There are thousands of thousands of people out there, living lives of quiet, screaming desperation, where they work long, hard hours at jobs they hate to enable them to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.”

Those were the words of Nigel Marsh, spoken at a TED Talk he gave in 2010 (see video below). Right around the time Nigel turned 40 years old, he was fired from his job.

Many people would despair at such a turn of events, fall into depression, or simply begin madly submitting resumes in a desperate attempt to fill the void as soon as possible. But Nigel did something different: he decided to use the opportunity he’d been given to take stock of his life and the direction in which it was going. He did this by taking a year away from work to spend with his family, a decision that would propel him forward on a personal journey to find the elusive work/life balance he so desperately needed.

Up to that point, Nigel was a pretty typical businessman. He’d worked for 20 years building a career in marketing and branding, and—in his own words—he was eating too much, drinking too much, working too hard, and neglecting the family. He also spent a lot of time fantasizing about what it would be like to spend less time working and more time with his wife and kids.

So Nigel took the year off, depleted his savings, and relearned what it was to be a dad. In the process, he transformed his life. He started doing the things he used to love—running and swimming—he lost weight, he was calmer and less irritable, and he stopped drinking too much. He also strengthened his bond with his children.

When Nigel eventually went back to work, he’d gained a whole new perspective on what he wanted out of his career. While he enjoyed the challenge and thrill that working provided for him, he no longer strived for perfection. He learned to enjoy the small victories and accepted that some stress was unavoidable. He decided to be grateful for all the time he spent with his kids instead of resenting the time he didn’t.

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  1. Have an honest debate
  2. Design your own life
  3. Have a realistic timeframe
  4. Approach balance in a balanced way
  5. The small things matter

He claims that he doesn’t have any answers, but I would venture to say that he’s on to something.

You can watch Nigel's 2010 Ted Talk here.

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