A few months ago I went for a run on a local trail. In the distance I saw a couple walking, they were holding hands and obviously into each other. I kept running, and eventually I caught up with them. I know I am a good runner (LOL), but I didn’t know I was also a Ninja. The couple didn’t hear me until I was a few feet behind and the funniest thing happened. The guy heard me and without even looking back to see who I was or what I was, took off running, and running fast. The girl surprised that the boyfriend took off, look back and realized that I was harmless and only smiled, apparently surprised, not by me, but by the reaction of the boyfriend. A few moments later, the boyfriend was walking back; he didn’t look at me, embarrassed. I just kept with my run. I wondered what happened to them. How he explained his reaction, he left his girl to fend for herself.
We are animals and as such we have the flight or fight response. Those are the only choices animals have. In stressful situations, chemicals are pumped into our bloodstream and makes us either put in a fight or run away as fast as we can. However, running away or putting a fight are responses that usually are not appropriate for most everyday situations. Some people, however, believe that being aggressive all the time is a perfectly reasonable response. We, humans, have a third approach calmly assess the situation and react accordingly.
Most of our personality is determined by “scripts” we have in our minds. Things like “I am impatient”, “I am aggressive because I am from the East Coast”, “I am shy”, “that is the way I am'. We also have other positive scripts as well; such as I “I like to read” “I like to meet new people” “I I work better under pressure”. These scripts get stronger as time passes, and our thoughts lead to beliefs, and beliefs lead to behaviors.
For example, if in your mind you have that scripts that say “I’m too shy”, most likely because of it, you will avoid public events that eventually will not allow you to meet new people. So to change our behaviors to the core, we must first change our thoughts or beliefs about ourselves. We can do this by changing our self-talk, the things we say to ourselves in our head. So when we say, “I can’t do this speech, I am too shy to do it,” that thought feeds our behavior, and most likely we will freeze or simply avoid the talk altogether. So if we start changing what we say to ourselves in a more positive way, we will change our beliefs and our behaviors.
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So what is the negative life script you keep telling yourself that is making you behave in a way that you would like to change? Design a new script today and start saying it to yourself until it becomes the new you.
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