Change comes in many different forms. Sometimes we expect it, sometimes we don’t. Many times it comes in the form of a decision, or a choice we must make in order to get desired results.

Take this past Sunday, for example. It was my first Father’s Day. I woke up to my wife surprising me with a little card on behalf of our 3-month old daughter. It was sweet, and I felt very happy. We spent a glorious day in San Francisco, having brunch, walking through Golden Gate Park, and finishing the day off with ice cream.

On the drive home, I had to pinch myself to make sure I was awake. I’d had an amazing first Father’s Day, and I was brimming with love for my wife and daughter. My life had changed so much from just a few years ago, and it almost felt like I was living a dream—a dream that once seemed unrealistic.

After my first marriage ended, I was left feeling disappointed and dejected. I’d pretty much decided that I wasn’t going to get married again. It wasn’t for lack of trying. I did want to meet someone, to get married again, to build a new life. I had many first dates, but only a few second ones.

Then I realized that I needed to change my approach. If I didn’t want to repeat the mistakes I’d made with my first marriage, I needed to change how I went about finding a new partner. I decided to approach dating in the same way I would approach my work as a business consultant: I devised a method that would help me find the right person for the “job”. The position went unfulfilled for some time. But when I did find her, everything fell into place. I couldn’t be happier, and I am grateful that I was able to make the changes I needed to make in order to find the happiness I always dreamed of.
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Sometimes we get out of a situation we don’t like—a relationship, a job, or a commitment—only to turn around and get right back into the same exact situation.   And we wonder why we keep doing this to ourselves. My love life was like that, until I decided to make a change. I see the same scenario playing out with many of the athletes I train, who stop running because of injury, only to start up again once the injury has healed, failing to make the necessary changes to prevent the injury from reoccurring. They repeat the same habits, and so end up with the same results.

In order to become who you want to be, to let go of bad habits and avoid undesirable situations, you’ve got to do things you’ve never done before. Most importantly, you need to be aware of what got you in the situation in the first place. Make the changes that need to be made in order to create the results you are looking for. For me, that meant devising a method I could use to avoid making the same old mistakes as I looked for love the second time around. For my endurance athletes, it means making a change to their running form or style so they don’t end up with the same old injuries. If you want change in your life, plan your work, and then work your plan!

Life will give you plenty of opportunities to practice change, and when it does you need to be ready. Most importantly, you got to be aware of what is happening. Life will give you the choices, but it’s up to you to decide which choices you will make.

 

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