A few days ago I was talking to a good friend of mine. We were discussing life in general, and the topic of finding a good partner came up. He wanted to know how I got so lucky finding my wife. I thought about it and told him that it was all about identifying what you want in a partner. Some people have laundry lists of qualities they’d like in a partner, and while it’s good to know what you want and what you don’t want, you should be realistic. Otherwise, you might just be setting yourself up for failure by having unrealistic expectations. The perfect person that fits all of your desired qualities simply may not exist.

So I asked my friend, what do you REALLY want? He said, “I want someone nice, beautiful, and smart.” In the days after our conversation, I decided to ask several other people what they wanted, and I got different versions of the same answer: someone beautiful, someone smart, and someone nice.

At Beyond the Fear, we encourage people to face their fears and achieve their goals. For many of us, that goal is to find someone to share our lives with. In my questioning, I learned that many of the qualities that people were searching for matched the qualities we want to have ourselves: friendliness, good looks, and smarts. So how do we cultivate these qualities in ourselves?

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  1. Read: You can’t over emphasize the value of a well-read mind. The more you read, the more knowledge you’ll online viagra canadian pharmacy online gain. Not only will you be equipped to engage in interesting and meaningful conversations, but you’ll improve in your work too. You’ll be better at your job and become a more effective employee. You’ll be a catch, and at the end of the day, that’s all any of us want.
  2. Exercise: People say they want to meet someone beautiful. But that doesn’t mean they’re looking for a model, or someone with a chiseled body. Beauty is not just what you can see on the outside, but also what is inside you; your mindset. That’s why exercising is so important; it changes your whole physiology. Not only will you get healthier and improve your physical appearance, but also you’ll be happier, and you’ll gain confidence and feel better about how you look and feel. You’ll be a beautiful human being.
  3. Be kind: Treat others as you would be treated. We’ve all heard this advice. It should be pretty easy to be nice, but we often overlook this quality, especially in ourselves. According to Professor Stephen Post, author of Why Good Things Happen to Good People, “A strong correlation exists between the wellbeing, happiness, and health of people who are kind.” If you want to meet a kind person, you have to start by treating others with kindness. Now, I know that some people worry that if they are too nice, they’ll end up in the dreaded “friend zone.” But I wouldn’t worry about it. If you meet someone who knows what they want, they’ll see you for what you are. And if not, then they’re not the right person for you.
  4. Be unique: No one that I questioned listed this as a desired quality, but I think it’s equally as important as the three above. We all want to be unique and different in some way, and we’re intrigued by others with this quality too. For me, I was the guy who could run 100 miles, and looking back now, this was always a conversation starter. I ended up marrying a runner, so it worked out perfectly. My wife told me last night that the first thing she noticed about me was that I could run, and she liked that. Then she noticed other qualities she liked, and the rest is history. If you want to meet someone unique, be unique yourself. Be YOU; there's no one else like you.

I believe that finding the right partner is an important goal. It can be one of the most important decisions we make in our lives. Too often, we fall into relationships that are not good for us. I’ve known many people in bad relationships who’ve settled, become complacent, and “accepted their fate.” Everyone deserves to be happy; to meet someone who is nice, smart, and yes, even good-looking if that’s what you want! So spend some time getting to know what you want and developing the qualities in yourself that you desire in others.

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