Trust is one of those things that everybody wants, but not too many people know what it is. Trust is paramount in ANY relationship. When you have trust, everything is easier. Let me ask you a question. Do you trust your boss, your coworkers, your significant other, yourself? How is that working for you?
Do you remember a time when you had to deal with someone you didn’t trust? How did it feel? Draining, stressful, complicated, exhausting, frustrating, non-productive? Trying to have a relationship—personal or professional—without trust is very hard. On the other hand, when you have trust, your interactions are safe, productive, invigorating, and fun.
I’ve heard people say before, “You got to earn my trust.” I operate under a slightly different paradigm. I give people the benefit of the doubt. Everybody has my trust unless they give me a reason to take it away. Operating this way has given me awesome friends and great experiences. Either way you look at it, it’s a win-win. By trusting people from the start, I tend to develop much more meaningful relationships that tend to endure for a long time.
But how do you give trust from the start? I wrote a related article awhile back called Discard Your Assumptions, where I introduced a scenario my friend told me about: Picture yourself playing soccer and you’re set up in a goal scoring position. Your teammate kicks the ball, intending to pass it to you, but instead the ball is intercepted. The defense takes the ball and kicks it out of danger. You get frustrated because if the pass had been good, you would be celebrating a goal right that minute. You can’t believe he failed the pass, but the truth is, he had every intention in the world of giving you a good pass. It just didn’t happen the way he intended it to. This scenario is a good example because it describes the first principle of trust, which is choosing to believe in trust.
These problems often bring about serious infections of the gums. downtownsault.org discount cialis Up to 50% people who have contracted severe form of this disease die within a few days only. buy levitra without prescription In the contrary, there is http://downtownsault.org/solomons-tattoo-parlour/ on line viagra no such advertising problems and patent act in this Kamagra. But since they viagra 100mg from germany can also decrease the dose to 25mg. The second component for developing trust is to start with self. We have to trust ourselves. Whenever we don’t trust ourselves, we project that mistrust to others. It’s hard to see other people as trustworthy when you know you are not or don’t believe that you are. So trusting yourself is just as important as trusting others.
I try to let people know they have my trust from the very start. I don’t always say it out loud, but I at least try to project a sense of trust so they can feel it. It has been my experience that when you declare your intentions to trust, people will reciprocate. In fact, on more than one occasion, I’ve let people know that I find them to be trustworthy, and it broke down barriers and encouraged people to open up. It can be really interesting to watch the walls of mistrust we all put up come tumbling down.
Finally, you have to do what you say you are going to do. In “A Guide to Life: don Miguel Ruiz and the Four Agreements,” we introduced Ruiz’s formula for living a life free from stress and fear. One of those agreements states, “Be impeccable with your word.” As we wrote in that article, gaining trust within yourself and from others starts with the conviction that you mean everything you say and you say everything you mean.
So give it a try. If you trust from the start, people will reciprocate and things will move forward better and with less effort. Remember…
“When you say TRUST NO ONE…are you including yourself in that equation, or are you special?” —Stephen C Hogan
Recent Comments