Halloween came and went, and like previous years, we had prepared ourselves with plenty of candy, and like all years past, no kids showed up. How disappointing. We were talking to our neighbors, and they were saying that in years past, lots of kids would show up. They also mentioned that there were have been many scary stories around, from contaminated candy to razors and needles hidden in apples. I wondered how truthful were those stories. So I decided to ask the almighty Google. In the process, I found a rather interesting statistic. What do Americas fear the most? Well, it turns out that most people are the most scared of public speaking. Yes, public speaking is the biggest fear in America. Clowns and Zombies are also in this list, pretty surprising to me. See the article here.
I have the attention span of a fly, and I found myself intrigued at that particular statistic. Interestingly some of those fears were mine at one point or another. I was afraid of public speaking, and so I joined a Toastmasters club. I was afraid of heights, so I went parachuting. As a child I almost drowned, so I went and took swimming classes and learned to swim. I was afraid of doing an Ironman, so I signed up for one and started training for it. I did what I was scared of. My first Ironman triathlon, I remember it as if it was yesterday.
When the day of the triathlon arrived, I was so scared. On the morning of the race, as we were getting ready, my heart was pounding so hard, I kept thinking, Oh My God, Oh My God, I am going to die today. The organizers made the fateful announcement; it was time to go to the starting line. We started walking toward the water, and then I noticed around me many other people that looked like me, scared. A woman was actually crying, I sensed her fear and I asked her if she was OK. She replied, “this is so emotional,” I knew she wasn’t being honest with herself, she was scared, just like me.
The Ironman was in Florida, the conditions were a bit windy, the water was choppy, looking at this made my stomach feel queasy and I felt nauseous and for a moment I thought I was going to puke. I glanced to my left and saw two people already puking - I am sure they were scared too. Then I realized, I am not alone, there were a lot of other people that were just as scared as I was, and that thought alone gave me a little more courage. I was scared but not as scared as that guy, or that other guy, or that girl.
Then the gun went off; imagine over 2000 bodies running toward the water. I found myself running like everybody else, and the fear? I don’t know where it went. I don’t remember at that moment being scared. In fact, I don’t think I was thinking anything at that moment. I was just running toward the water, and when the water was too deep for me to run anymore, I started swimming. I had an amazing feeling of elation, and somehow I made it out of the water, completed the bike and the run. I crossed the finish line 14 hours, later and I was the happiest I ever been. I had done it.
Looking back, I remember that when the race started, I wasn’t scared anymore, I was too busy swimming and doing what just a few minutes ago was making me almost puke and pee on my pants. I didn’t know it then, but now I realize that the act of doing something that scared me was enough to decrease the fear. That was my first Ironman; then I did my second and my third and a few others, and the more I did them, the less scared I became. Taking risks is the key to conquering your fears. We can stretch ourselves out of our comfort zone by doing what scares us; eventually we will feel more comfortable, stronger. And the fear will most likely go away.
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Granted, some people that are in fear might have some medical condition, but for most of us most fears are definitely something we can conquer as long as we decide to do that. I have thought a lot about how to conquer my fears, and I have gotten a system down.
- I can handle this - This becomes my mantra, and the positive reinforcement I give myself makes the getting started a lot easier.
- I Imagine the outcome - Many times I pictured myself conquering that Ironman and trying to figure out what will it feel to cross the finish Line. In fact, I practiced in front of my mirror crossing that line many times.
- Get ready, know what to do – Practice, practice, practice.
- Go and do it - Pushing through the fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that come from a feeling of helplessness
- Repeat, do it again and again, the fear will decrease.
Life is a process, and learning should never end. Don’t be so hard on yourself for not having “made it” yet and don’t let fear stop you. Say yes and commit yourself to push through the fear and becoming more than you are today. The secret is not to be fearless, but to fear less.
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