Fears are singular emotions. They’re personal. Even if we possess the most outgoing personality, we still have a hard time talking about our fears with other people. Because no matter what they are, our fears expose us and make us vulnerable.
The thing is, I don’t think being exposed or vulnerable is such a terrible thing. At least, I’m still trying to learn this. But I do know that trying to get through a bad time alone—trying to manage the fear on our own—that is terrible. And it doesn’t equip us with the strength we need to get through it.
Sometimes we think that if we don’t tell anyone, we can pretend that our fears aren’t real, or that they’ll go away. But that never works. All it does is allow the worry to build and fester, until we are convincing ourselves of all sorts of horrible outcomes.
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Talking to someone about your fears brings perspective. Just the act of saying it out loud transfers a whole bunch of weight off your mind and out into the open, so that it can be examined rationally. Chances are, you’ll be surprised to find that your fears are shared or have been experienced by others, or that someone has a solution to offer that you didn’t think of.
Left to our own devices, we are far too good at convincing ourselves of the worst. We need someone else to remind us that there could be other options or outcomes; that maybe things aren’t quite as hopeless as we think. And if we do end up having to face a worst-case scenario, I can guarantee you that our chances of getting through it are much better than if we tried to do it alone.
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