Sometimes the principles we live by show up in funny places. Take these past few months, for example: my wife is in her 9th month of pregnancy, and this experience has taught me a lot about partnership, the work involved in preparing for a new child, and especially how important it is to know that you don't have to do it alone.
When I first heard that my wife was pregnant, I was exhilarated. This was what we'd been waiting for, and I could hardly believe it was finally happening. I knew it would be a lot of work, but we would do it together.
Well, I've come to learn something over the past nine months, and that is the simple fact that the mother-to-be carries most of the weight (excuse the pun). As we grow closer to the due date, I can't believe how uncomfortable my wife has become. I think about it and I believe she is an absolute rockstar for going through this for us. Our baby girl is about to come into our lives, and my poor wife is the one that has done all the work.
But the one thing I can do—and have strived to do every singe day—is be there for her. I want to be the best supportive husband I can be. I want to make sure she knows that I am here for her and that she doesn't have to do this alone.
I'm sure there are countless ways someone can help carry the burden of pregnancy for a partner who is expecting, but here are some ways in which I've gone about doing so. If you are in a similar position, I promise that these small gestures will go a long way towards showing her that you mean to be with her every step of the way.
- Tell her she's beautiful. She is the most amazing woman in the world, not only because she is carrying your baby, but also because that whole giant belly thing is very uncomfortable. Make sure you tell her how beautiful she is—because she is.
- Go out of your way to help out in any way possible. Seven magic words when your partner is pregnant: "What can I do to help, honey?". And I hope you're not looking for a medal, because most likely you will not get one. But knowing that she is as comfortable as possible is the best reward you can ask for.
- Offer to rub her feet and/or legs occasionally. I'm told that there really is nothing more heavenly than a foot rub when you're pregnant, and she will appreciate it tremendously..
- Read a baby book or two. Initially, t's hard to get as excited as the mom-to-be, since there isn't as much you need to do leading up to when the baby arrives. So educate yourself and do something (on your own) to show your interest. Your partner will be delighted to see you perusing The Baby Book when she walks in.
- Answer your phone. Always. Especially near the end of the pregnancy, when she is relying on you to answer. Don't disappoint her.
- Go along with her to prenatal visits. It can be an amazing experience, and I promise, it will make you feel like more of a man. In the eyes of your partner, you will be a rockstar.
- Help plan for the baby. Talk with your partner about what you both want for your baby. Ask friends and family members what you can do to prepare.
- Exercise during pregnancy. Walk or swim together. Both are safe exercises and provide time together. My wife and I go for walks, and it's a great bonding experience.
- Reduce her stress. Pregnancy is physically and emotionally demanding, so don't burden your pregnant partner with any unneeded pressure. Take on more of the household chores so that she can rest.
- Show her that you care; it's the simplest thing in the word to accomplish, no?
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These gestures have served as a way for me to show my wife that I am part of the team, and that she is not alone. It's true that this is probably the easy part. While my work has been limited to small gestures like these, and things like bringing her water, or helping her get up in the morning, I can only imagine how much busier we will be once our baby girl is here. I hope I am man enough to support her after the pregnancy is over and the real work begins.
This process has shown me that the principles which I strive to live by can be applied in all aspects of my life. Today, it is through my wife's pregnancy and our expecting a child that I am reminded—and have the opportunity to show her—that we don't have to do it alone. Tomorrow it will be something else; another challenge, another opportunity. These are the ways in which we continue to learn, grow and change. And that's what life is all about.
And once baby arrives, one of the greatest gifts you can give your wife is a few minutes of extra sleep! When his daughter woke up on Sunday morning, my son got up and took her to the grocery store to buy breakfast goodies while his wife stayed in bed a little longer. I heard about this today from the Happy Wife herself 🙂
Makes me proud of my son!