Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of sitting in for an evening at the Salesforce Conference (Dreamforce) for a keynote interview with Sheryl Sandberg, Chief Operating Officer of Facebook and author of the wildly popular book Lean In.
The keynote was given inside the Moscone Center, San Francisco's mammoth convention and exhibition complex. Keynote attendees were guided through the swinging glass doors at the entrance of Moscone West, down a large bank of escalators, and into a vast auditorium at the basement of the convention center. Inside was a colossal room of dark shadows punctuated with bright blue projector screens hanging from the ceiling over a sea of chairs. Thousands of people sat and waited, eagerly chattering about the interview they were about to hear. The buzz of anticipation floated in the air along with the currents of AC, promising anyone who didn't already know it that we were in for something special.
Though I haven't yet read Lean In and cannot pretend to be an authority on the movement Sheryl is building, I have become keenly aware of the energy her message is generating. I can't tell you how many times her book has been recommended to me and referenced in the past year. I kept hearing about it and wondering what it was all about. I even ordered the book, but hadn't gotten around to pulling it down from my book shelf. I knew that her message was getting out there, influencing and empowering people. So when I heard she'd be speaking at Dreamforce, I was excited to get an opportunity to finally hear her story.
After just five minutes into her interview, I realized that Sheryl represents everything we are talking about here on BTF; she is an agent of change, talking about what she believes (and research shows) is the root cause of the disparity between men and women in the workforce: fear—fear that is rooted in little girls being told they are too bossy, parents underestimating their daughters, and a workplace that cautions women against being "too aggressive".
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I didn't immediately realize it, but it came to me that Sheryl's words rang true in my own life. In particular, I remember being told as a little girl that I was "too contrary". In fact, I was given a book called Little Miss Contrary, because even at a young age, I was prone to arguing my point. Somewhere along the way, I lost confidence and spent a good deal of my adolescent years feeling awkward and inadequate. In the workplace, I regained some of my "contrary" nature, and though it did help propel me up the corporate ladder, it was often met with resentment and contempt—particularly from my female colleagues. I remember once being told by my female supervisor that I "would make a good auditor", a sour reference to my tendency to ask too many questions. As I sat in the audience and looked around me, I saw other women nodding their heads, no doubt remembering their own character-shaping experiences. Sheryl went on to say that we need to change the messages we tell women who work with and for us, the messages we tell our daughters.
Sheryl wants us to change the messages we tell our sons, too. Her analysis gets at the root of deep-set biases and stereotypes about both women and men that exist within cultures around the world. She jokes about how she doubted the popularity of a non-fiction book about feminism—a word often uttered with disdain because of the ideals it represents—but the truth is that Sheryl doesn't preach against men. Instead, she urges men to embrace these changes just as wholeheartedly as women. She points out how we put more pressure on our boys to succeed than we do on our girls. This makes it harder for men who stay home to support wives with careers or who attend school functions with their children. Sheryl urges that we must make working at home important for both genders if we're going to even things out.
At the end of Sheryl's keynote, she mentioned the fact that many people doubt the world would be a better, more peaceful place if there were more women in leadership. Her response? "I say let's try it." The audience of some 14,000 attendees stood and applauded her. The room was electric with the promise of change that her message conveyed. It urges all women to regain our confidence, believe in our accomplishments, and own our successes. It's a call-to-action to overcome our fear, sit down at the tables where the big decisions are being made, and "lean in".
Be bold, be brave, be leaders. Do what you would do if you weren't afraid.
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