A 10-year-old named Megan says to her mom, “mom when I grow up, I want to help cure brain cancer.” The mom replied…. “What do you have in mind? Do you want to be a doctor, a nurse, a researcher?” No, Megan said, “ I want to use my art skills to raise money for the research others are doing.”
Being a brain tumor survivor myself, I was incredibly touched by Megan’s story as told by her mom. Megan lost her father to brain cancer, and at such a tender age she was turning her grief into action…. She was adapting.
The American Psychological Association defines resilience as the process of adapting in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats, or even significant sources of stress. The key word here is adapting. Often our response to stress is to look for quick solutions, including medication. Resilience is facing a threat and take small steps, methodical, adaptive and strategical that will allow us to overcome the danger and thrive over time.
What was even more touching for me is the fact Megan’s adaptation takes on a much bigger goal than just coping with the pain of losing her father. She actually turned her attention to tackle the very thing that killed her father, Cancer.
As I remember my own experience, my own adaptation was somewhat selfish. I started running as a way to get better, over time running became my passion, running became my way to adapt to my own losses; the loss of my marriage, the loss of my professional dreams, the loss of my own identity. Running was my way to adapt to my “condition,” over time I built resilience. Over time, I got better, over time I reinvented myself a couple of times over. Running was a way of turning my own grief into action. I wasn’t thinking of saving anyone, but myself. I could have used running to raise funds for Brain Cancer Research, I thought about it, but I never did.
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Megan (then age 8) and her dad shortly before he went on hospice (September 2015). Photo courtesy Rebecca Ort photography.
Megan’s story is a lesson of resilience, it also a lesson that in your most difficult moments you can make the world better. Megan wants to cure cancer, but another unintended consequence of her action was to influence her mother to start a new venture. Megan’s mom started a podcast for parents who have lost a spouse. She seeks to help them turn their grief into action and support and inspire their children to build resilience and thrive after the loss of a parent.
People have asked me, do you wish you never had a brain tumor. My answer is always, no, I am a better version of myself because of the brain tumor. But I wished I could go back and use my coping/adapting less selfishly.
What do you think about Megan’s story? How can you turn your own loss/grief into action with a higher purpose and build resilience in the process?
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