I find that the older I get, the busier I get. All of a sudden, I catch myself trying to find spare time to spend with the people who matter most: my friends. Getting to know new people is even more daunting, and, well... who has the time, right? As I was writing this blogpost, I made a quick internet search on how to be a good friend and how to keep one. I was overwhelmed with the amount of information that my search yielded. I found 50 ways to become a better friend, 24 steps to make friends, 21 ways to be a better friend, and so on. Very interesting reads...but not entirely helpful. Instead of consuming my time reading about being a better friend, I started to think of ways in which I could be a better friend—right now.
If you are stressed, like me, then spending time with friends is one of the best ways to combat that stress. It can be hard, but the truth of the matter is that the more time you set aside for friends, the less stressed you'll be. Most likely, more of your projects will be completed as well. Being a better friend isn't difficult; it just takes a little time, and it's well worth the investment. Here are three steps you can take to give your friendships the time they deserve:
1. Find something common to do together.
You can start with the New Year's resolutions you just committed to. I know, I made some too, and if you're anything like me, your tight schedule and endless responsibilities make those goals and resolutions seem nearly impossible to achieve. So, instead of choosing between your friends and your resolutions, why not combine them? Team up with a friend—someone that has a goal similar to yours—and get those resolutions knocked out together. You'll spend time with a friend and get your resolutions accomplished at the same time. I know you want to drop a few pounds, and getting to the gym might seem daunting, but doing it with a friend will be so much easier.
2. Put it in your calendar.
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How many times have we told our friends that we'll get together soon, or that we'll give them a call sometime? It's easy for these promises to get lost in the weekly chaos. Unless you intend to make that phone call, don't say that you'll call soon. Instead, if you're finding it hard to make the time to call your friends, make a note on your calendar. When the time arrives, pick up the phone.
3. Call your friend and make a date.
Getting together does not have to be the event of the year. I have often found that a nice, quiet conversation over coffee can be so much better than a party, or whatever social event you were thinking of using as a pretext to get together. The important thing is not how you spend your time, only that you spend it together.
Friends are so important to your well-being, and it's beneficial to maintain your connections despite busy lives and overloaded schedules. Good friends will be around through the good and the bad, and will offer support no matter what you're going through. Part of one of our five principles of living is to find help—to find a friend that will support you and your goals. A friend is the greatest gift you can give yourself. So go ahead, give your best friend a call and schedule an afternoon together!
After living ten feet away from my best friends in the dorms, we have all moved off campus and across town. Even though we’re only five miles apart, we rarely see each other, save for random run-ins on campus. This post offered some great advice!
Glad to hear it, Alexandra! It’s just like when you live five minutes from work, you always seem to show up late. I think that we tell ourselves that there is plenty of time, we’ll make that call tomorrow, we’ll set a date next week, etc. Before you know it, a month goes by, a year. Then we feel guilty for not having kept in touch; to avoid the awkwardness and guilt, we don’t reach out at all. And that’s how we lose some of our closest friends. It takes a little effort and work, but we can hold on to the relationships that are important to us.