If you've never read the book Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Robert M. Sapolsky, I recommend that you pick up a copy. Its contents may be a bit scary (ironically so), but the research presented is very compelling. In the book, Sapolsky discusses why humans have so many health problems related to stress compared to animals, and how this can be attributed to the physiological stress-response commonly referred to as "fight-or-flight" syndrome. The stress-response is activated in animals only when they are at risk of "acute physical crises"—serious physical injury, predators, starvation—whereas in humans, the response is activated far more frequently. Because we humans worry. We experience fear in anticipation.
You have a speech coming up? You're stressing for weeks beforehand. You're running late for an interview? You're sick with worry that you won't make it on time, and you're already dreading the look of disapproval on your potential employer's face. You have to break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend? You put it off for months, too afraid to face their reaction. I could go on and on, and I have no doubt that if these examples don't resonate with you, you could kindly offer up a handful of your own.
In these instances, even though we are not in danger of physical harm, our bodies react as though we were, activating the stress-response. Now you know the source of that sick feeling you get deep in your belly every time you think of yourself standing at the podium in front of a sea of staring eyes, or the layer of sweat and general over-heated feeling you take with you into the interview you rushed to get to.
Thinking back, I am inundated with my own memories related to fear in anticipation of something, but two particular occasions stick out in my mind: last year, when I decided to get up on a stage in front of hundreds of people and speak at my brother-in-law's service, and a couple of months ago when I resigned from my job. On both of these occasions, I was just as guilty as the next gal and spent lots of time fearing in anticipation. But I now realize that these two occasions had something else in common: both of them forced me to overcome my fear, and when the time came, I found the courage I needed.
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On the first occasion, I was so nervous (and also very busy) leading up to the evening that I avoided thinking about writing a speech at all. I ended up writing it just before it was my time to go up on stage, typing away on my iPhone. In that instance—"under-the-gun" as it were—the words flowed out of me and ended up sounding more right than they ever could have had I worried over them for weeks. I was able to get up in front of my closest family and friends and tell them exactly how I felt. I felt empowered, and it felt right.
On the second occasion, my courage came by accident. For months, I had worried over the idea of quitting my job. I'd made up my mind to quit several times, only to go back on my decision. There were lot's of "ifs" and "maybes" in my conversations during those months. I was afraid of leaving my job, yes, but I was also terrified of the idea of handing in my resignation and facing my supervisor with the news that I'd be leaving. Again, I was fearing in anticipation. As it turned out, a simple misunderstanding called into question my satisfaction at work and ended up thrusting me into the decision I'd known was right all along—all in a single day. Not having the time to mull over the perfect resignation letter or prepare a script for when I would hand it in freed me from the stand-still that anticipating these events had left me in.
In both cases, the moment I stopped anticipating and started acting was the moment I found my courage. So while we may not have the power to overcome our own physiology (and, it seems, we have reason to be envious of zebras for something other than their stripes), we do have the power to fear less. So try it out. Take one thing you're afraid of, stop thinking about it, and do it anyway. Stop wasting time and causing undue stress on your body by anticipating it. Just do it, already. You'll find it to be much easier than all that worrying.
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